Who are you?
My name is Nomfezeko, I am 21 years old. I am eminently ambitious, with boundless optimism raging through my veins. I see far beyond the stars, and I daydream about milky lands teeming with flowing honey and money trees. Though I may have these vivid elevated lofty dreams and my commencements are grand, I never quite seem to hop across the finish line with a red ribbon labeled accomplishment draped around my torso. My achievements are subtle; it takes an eagle’s eyes to notice; it takes tears, bloody sweats, denial, and bruised or maybe scrapped knees to ultimately acquire what I want. I am a goal-getter. Even so, my winnings are as dainty as daisies blossoming in a harsh climate.
I live inside my head too; you’d swear my brain has a compartment designed with a mouse-sized bed, a tiny peephole with walls plastered with pink polka-dot wallpapers, but no, it’s actually a black hole that sucks good energy in. I overthink even the minor inconveniences; I sink into loops of never-ending uncertainties that I magically create under circumstances that cannot prove me incorrect. My mind used to be powerful, dangerous; it used to run on depressant dopamine, progressively depleting the joyful serotonin that gives me the drive to live. I was tormented by the ghosts of my past—not the supernatural sort but the “Should have” and “Could have” kind. They maintained vigil and kept me up all night, playing eerie harmonies in the darkest corner of my room, taunting my optimistic affirmations. No worries though; all that has been conquered. Subtle achievements.
I may be a twisted fantasy looming with insecurities and self-doubt, with a crooked self-esteem, but I can assure you that I have a heart as enormous as Santa Claus’s (if he even exists). I can hold even the most fragile conversations, and I can make your insides hurt just with a few giggles. Come to me with your issues, and I will be your Bob the Builder. Although I sometimes lack the appropriate remedies, I do have a few moral pillars to offer.
I love sunrises, I find great fortitude in them. When the sun peeks over the horizon, smearing the sky with a new flush of hues, heralding the start of a magnificent day. I am exceptionally addicted to books; yes, I am a book junkie. I love the invigorating musky smell of paper, which elicits unimaginable ideas. I love how silent the outer world is when I open a book; I find solace in the hands of paper.
Amid all the confusion and troubles life throws my way, I am on a sacred quest to discover my spirituality and my purpose. My soul is intent on uncovering the divine secrets of the heavens—the hidden truth behind my existence. It is quite an intricate odyssey, there are moments where I feel out of place, afraid, and engulfed by loneliness, then there are times where I have everything figured out, like I am three steps ahead of my progress. But, isn’t life about figuring things out? We live by the plans we create and the lofty goals we set for ourselves.
Despite it all, I am starting to embrace my ataraxy with a composed spirit. My name is Nomfezeko, and I am 21 years old.
